INFORMATION FOR CARERS
Worried about someone?
This section can help you if you are worried about the mental health of a friend, relative or loved one. It explains what you can do and where to go to get help and support. It can be helpful for all mental health conditions. There is some information on helping someone who is experiencing symptoms of psychosis. To make things simpler we will use "relative" to mean relative, friend or loved one.
- Drastic changes in behavior may mean someone is developing a mental illness.
- You can try and help your relative by encouraging them to get help from a doctor like a General Practitioner (GP).
- They may refuse to see a doctor. If so, you can try and ask for help yourself.
- You can also try to contact mental health services in Brunei (i.e. Psychiatry Department or Clinical Psychology Services).
- As a carer, it is important to look after your own emotional wellbeing too.
This section covers:
- What are the signs that someone might need help?
- What are the first steps?
- How can I ask for help?
- How can I help someone who is not a friend, relative or loved one?
- What are the common problems I might encounter?
- How can I get help for myself?
What are the signs that someone might need help?
Everyone go through stressful events from time to time that can change our normal behavior. This could be someone close to us dying, losing a job or the end of a relationship. We may feel stressed, angry or sad. These responses are all natural but they will eventually go away.
Changes in behavior may be a sign that someone is developing a mental illness. You may notice someone behaving differently. You may see a change over a short period of time or over a number of months.
Below are some common changes to look out for:
· Becoming anxious, irritable or confrontational
· Having mood swings
· Self-harming
· Sleeping too much or too little
· Not wanting to be around other people
· Being less able to cope with work or studies
· Problems concentrating or remembering things
· Changes in appetite- eating more or less
· Having suicidal thoughts
Someone may develop psychosis or a psychotic illness. In this case you may see more obvious changes. Psychosis is a medical term that describes symptoms such as hearing or seeing things, and having unusual beliefs that other people do not have. Someone with psychosis may:
· focus on odd ideas or beliefs,
· be suspicious and paranoid, such as thinking people are talking about them,
· believe that friends or family members want to harm them,
· think that the TV is talking to them,
· believe they are on a special mission or have special powers,
· not communicate with anyone or refuse to leave their room for days,
· have problems concentrating or remembering things, or
· stop eating, washing or dressing properly.
I am worried about someone - So what are the first steps?
Step 1:
You can try and help your relative by encouraging them to get help from a doctor like a General Practitioner (GP) at your local health centre.
Step 2:
Your relative might not want to visit their healthcentre. They may not feel they are unwell. They may not think that a doctor would be able to help them. They may realize they need help but feel too embarrassed or ashamed to talk to a doctor.
Step 3:
Consider their thoughts and feelings. Imagine how you would feel in your relative's situation. They might feel sensitive, anxious, frightened or confused. Remember they may feel you are 'getting at them'. Be calm, sympathetic and tactful when approaching them re: the matter at hand.
Step 4:
Try to bring up the subject when you are both relaxed and have time to talk. Reassured them of the benefits of seeking professional's help. There are some things you could tell your relative. For example; stress, anxiety or other symptoms seem to be making it hard for you to cope as well as usual, and perhaps seeing a doctor could help.
Step 5:
If you wish, you can offer to go with them to a doctor's appointment to support them.
Things to remember:
- Many mental health problems can be easily treated. They might be worried they will have to go to hospital. This is unlikely if they get treatment.
- GP notes are confidential. This means that the doctor can't share information with anyone else unless they agree to it.
- However, the GP may have to share information with others if they feel someone is at risk of harming themselves
I am worried about someone – How can I ask for help?
Your relative or a loved one may refuse to see a doctor. If so, you can try and ask for help yourself.
1. See a GP at your nearby Healthcentres.
2. Explain your concerns clearly – try to stick to facts and share examples. You make a list of concerns. Evidence of any changes in behavior may also be useful. There are some examples below:
- My best friend has left university because he believes all our lecturers are talking about him. He has stopped talking to me and all his friends. He won't turn his phone on because he thinks that people can watch him through his phone.
- My daughter does not go come out of her bedroom except to get food when we are all asleep. She hasn't showered for more than 2 weeks. She avoids all of us, including her boyfriend. If she walks into the kitchen and someone is there she runs back into her bedroom. She keeps her door locked and won't talk to us.
- My husband has started self-harming and takes a lot of time off work at the moment. She has started buying a lot of packets of tablets and storing them. I recently found them and he got really angry with me for throwing them away. She gets so angry and starts smashing up the house. Every time I leave the house to go to work, he starts crying and asks me to stay with him.
3. The GPs at the healthcentres may contact your relative to invite them for a check up, or they may refer them straight to the Psychiatry services.
4. The psychiatrists may then try to make an appointment with your relative for a check up, or they may agree to ask the Community Mental Health Team to do a home visit. A Community Mental Health Team (CMHT) is made up of professionals like psychiatrists, community psychiatric nurses, medical social worker and/or community psychologist.
Other things to remember:
- It can be useful to give a doctor information on your relative's general health as they may decide to seek help later on. This also might help shape the questions the doctor might ask them.
- If you share concerns about your relative with professionals they may have to tell your relative about this. This can have an impact on trust in your relationship. If you share concerns verbally, you could request that this is to be kept confidential and used as sensitively as possible. You could explain that this is to protect your relationship.
- A doctor or mental health team will need permission from your relative to share their personal information with you. You can still however share concerns without this. However professionals will be limited in what they can tell you. This includes what they will do with your information.
